There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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