who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
