I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just cropdusted the office
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
third nipple confirmed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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