dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
