My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I will be naked everywhere
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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