Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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