I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize