I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
