i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
time to smoke my breakfast
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Help. Why am I so naked?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
