Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
