she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize