no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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