My first STD was from a foam party
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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