it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dating After Heartbreak
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.