Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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