Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
where am i from again
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
