You're completely useless in the revolution.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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