She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize