Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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