you guys were way drunker than both of me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
