Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
