I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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