My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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