Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
