If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
