So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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