So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
