She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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