I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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