Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
