I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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