whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
