i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
