I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
