i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
