We won't sleep together?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
