Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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