is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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