Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
