You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
