I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
