Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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