yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.