Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"