You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Can I color on your dick again?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.