After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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