I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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