I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
