I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
