I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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