No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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