Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
