did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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