I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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