i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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