I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
