do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
