Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize