I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
