they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
