I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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